


There for You

by KittensAreDeadly



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Karen Page, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Matt Murdock & Foggy Nelson Friendship, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26341216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittensAreDeadly/pseuds/KittensAreDeadly
Summary: Even after a night of drinking, Matt Murdock finds himself having to protect someone.So why won't he let Foggy and Karen protect him?--------TW: This fic very very frequently depicts rape, and while everyone will be okay by the end, it'll be a rough ride.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 56





	1. Helpful Forum

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time posting a pic in a really long time. I wrote this one a few months ago, and just found it today, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it! So I thought you guys might, too. Let me know if I should even continue this, if not, I'll just cut it off and make this chapter a one-shot. I'm honestly not sure if I could continue this fic with the same level of quality as it started out with, but idk. Anyway, thanks for reading!

\--Matt--  
“Okay, sir, you’re free to go. They said they’ll give you a call in the morning, to get everything else. Do you, um… Can I call you a taxi?"

Matt was surprised for the millionth time that night. “...Please.”

He’d had the chance to sober up. He could walk, even if it hurt a bit. But he knew that he wasn’t at his best, really. 

Her braids thumped her shoulder as she reached to the phone at her desk. Matt tuned out her call- he tried to tune out everything. He was exhausted. He still was worried he might start spontaneously sobbing. 

“He’s on the way… I can wait with you outside, Mr. Murdock.”

“Thanks.” He gave the woman his elbow, and she led him through the waiting room and out to the parking lot. 

It was sprinkling so lightly, it felt like the rain and air were one in the same. Matt sort of like this weather, even if it did make his skin feel a little sticky.

“...Bless that Daredevil fellow.” The nurse commented, solemnly.

“Amen.” Matt returned in kind. When the taxi arrived, he made sure to try his best to point his eyes to where he thought hers were most likely to be and thanked her sincerely. She had been the most understanding, throughout the ordeal.

The trip home was lost on Matt. All he remembered of it in the morning was the relief of finally getting into the shower and scrubbing off as much of the night as he could. It didn’t really work, though, because he still felt dirty.

The sleep came easily, though. He didn’t even remember any nightmares when he woke up to his phones lilted accent.

“Fog-gy. Fog-gy. Fog-gy. Fog-g-”

“Hmmoh?” Matt mumbled into the speaker. 

“Jesus Christ, Matthew, I’m going to need a pacemaker. You weren’t much more drunk than us; what happened?”

“What?”

“...Matt. No way did you go out.” Foggy’s voice was dripping disappointment.

“No! No, I didn’t- no. I’m- what time is it?” 

“...Dude. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. And- and I’m glaring at your coffee mug.”

“The time, fogs.”

“Christ, Matty, you didn’t even ask which mug. It’s ten-twenty-something.”

Matt practically leapt out of bed, wincing as he did so. He was trying desperately not to think about the reason why he was wincing.

He should have guessed it was so late in the day, not only by Foggy’s ringing and worry, but by the sounds. More people were awake. Breakfast had mostly come and gone. Business-people, the ones with the strongest colognes and perfumes, had all but completely vacated the streets by now.

“I was about to head over, man,” Foggy went on, “but I figured you’d just had too much to drink. You know, you can stay home if you need to.”

“No, I’m on the way, Foggy, I just need a minute. I’ll- I’ll be there in, like, 10 minutes.” 

“Kay-” Matt hung up and cringed, realizing Foggy probably had some other quip. 

Getting into and out of the shower as quick as possible was a feat. Getting undressed- feeling cloth being removed- all of it. It was too much. Matt had to focus on his breathing as he dried himself off. 

His strategy was to just avoid thinking. He wouldn’t need to until he had to give a statement to the police, and they said they’d get it in the morning.

Crap. Matt knew the police were going to contact him, and he couldn’t just leave in the middle of work. Not without Karen and Foggy getting suspicious.

Matt hurried to get to the office. He really needed to get to work. To give himself something to do. 

“You liar.” Karen’s hair thumped against her chest as she shook her head. Fortunately, her tone was light.

Matt fussed with his hair, thinking of whether he should dignify that with a response. How could she have known something was up so quickly?

“What kind of would-be thug bitch slaps the person trying to stop them?” Foggy chuckled as he exited his office to greet Matt.

Matt, though, felt heat rise in his earlobes and throat as he reached up to touch his left cheek. He shivered at the memory of the gruff man-

“I didn’t go out, though,” he heard himself saying, “I slept hard on that side, I guess.” He tried for a chuckle. He thought it worked.

Foggy and Karen remained silent as Matt entered his office and got to work. He heard shuffling, smelled cedar from Karen opening her desk drawer. She had grabbed paper and scratched onto it. A note for Foggy, without a doubt.

Matt tried to stop listening. He focused on the work in front of him.

\--Foggy--

‘Ok what happened?’ Karen had written out. Foggy just shrugged.

Karen’s face scrunched as she gave him a look that conveyed “Are you fucking serious, Foggy?”. She proceeded to write ‘Isn’t it weird he’s lying to us again? After everything?’

Of course it was weird. But Foggy was confident that Matt would say something in his own time. Besides, he had been planning on prying it out of him that night, after work.

Foggy took up the paper. 

‘Yeah, but I’ll ask tonight.’ Karen gave him a more tame version of the same unimpressed look.

‘Or you can look into it,’ Foggy wrote, mirroring her face.

She nodded and gave him her patented “Karen Won” smile, before turning to her laptop and setting to work.

What she got up to, Foggy had limited knowledge. She was secretive about it. Apparently there were some invested groups of basement-dwellers that tracked superhero’s moves- including Daredevil.

It wasn’t Foggy’s business. In fact, Foggy had an actual business. So he finished up his portion of the work and headed to Matt to discuss next steps.

They decided to stay in Matt’s office, because the newly transcribed documents had finished printing. 

“So- we know that this guardian ad litem was in Mr. Sean’s pocket, but my question is-” Foggy’s line of thought was interrupted by Matt’s phone.

“332-42-” Matt picked it up in a rush.

“He-ello?” Foggy tilted his head at Matt’s wavering voice. He couldn’t make out the garbled speech at the other end of the line, apart from it being a man’s voice. It looked serious, if Foggy was reading Matt’s pinched eyebrows correctly (and of course he was).

“Yeah, I can come in, but it’d have to be after 6… Yes, I’m sorry… No, I know, the sooner the better. I-I can’t let it interrupt my work, so I-... Yes... Of course, thank you very much.”

Foggy wasn’t used to such a tone from Matt. Not to strangers, much less business partners, clients, peers. Anything. 

“Who was that?” Foggy asked once Matt sat back down, shaky.

“Uh,” he started, pale, “bank. Have to go work out some loan stuff.”

“...Loan stuff?”

Matt turned his head to the document in front of him, placing his hands over the braille as he spoke, “Yep. But, anyway, what were you saying about the guardian ad litem?”

Foggy let it go for the moment, and made a mental note to check in with Special Agent Page as soon as possible.

  


  
\--Karen--

**PenniMecca** : 06:23:12   
DD stopped another rapist. How many is that now? Lol

**Coreaboo!** : 06:24:02  
623 if u have proof. Ppl been saying fake shit lately desu

**PenniMecca** : 06:24:13  
Pictures, police reports. Didn’t get a hospital thing today tho. :(((

**DOOMEROOTKA** : 06:24:15  
What fake shit?? Not on this forum, admins go coocoo for cocoliars

**Coreaboo!** : 06:24:57  
Heard something about a second spidey but no proof, admins kileld it

**Coreaboo!** : 06:25:01  
****killed

**Coreaboo!** : 06:25:11  
Anyway go DD. he’s always on top of it but UPDATE US PM!!!

**PenniMecca** : 08:46:30  
Ask and ye shall recieve, CB. Blind man got hurt, but DD FUCKED UP the rapist. Reports say his face is in laymans terms a mush of man smoothie. Blind man got justice, hasn’t finished a statment yet. Check linked files for proof, as always.

**DOOMEROOTKA** : 08:46:51  
Gimme your contacts mommy UWUUUUU

**chamomillieMorado** : 08:47:47  
Illegal, I’m telling nypd kekekekek

**Coreaboo!** : 08:50:09  
YES! They’ll save the day and stop those mean wittle vigiwanties! How dare sCuM like DD stop a rapist!! /s

**KayPlant** : 10:49:03 **(new user, say hi!)**  
Hey, Penni, did you say the victim was a blinf man?

**KayPlant** : 10:49:09 **(new user, say hi!)**  
**blind?

**DOOMEROOTKA** : 10:49:21  
Uh oh noooooob, prepare >:)

**PenniMecca** : 10:49:29  
Check the docs and identify yourself.

**KayPlant** : 10:49:36 **(new user, say hi!)**  
Saw them. How do I know they’re real? Don’t know how to identify myself. I just need info on DD, he saved me a few times.

**PenniMecca** : 10:49:42  
I have a reputable source. Look, you’re new. I’m not going to try to prove myself to you. Give us info when you get it and we’ll trust you.

**KayPlant** : 10:49:51 **(new user, say hi!)**  
Sorry, I might not have any to give you. Any reason why names in those reports are redacted though?

**PenniMecca** : 10:50:04  
I mean, I share info about DD. I don’t want to hurt this victim any more than he’s already been hurt

**KayPlant** : 10:50:10 **(new user, say hi!)**  
That’s really cool

**KayPlant** : 10:50:16 **(new user, say hi!)**  
Thanks for sharing info, I’ll contribute when I can. And I will, soon. Later

**Coreaboo!** : 10:56:22  
HAHAHAHHAH PM, prepare for your handle to be released in a paper! Lmaoooooaoaoao

Karen took a look at the files again. 

Yeah, they looked legit. Fuck. Really legit. She’d stopped when she saw the redacted names, but… well, she should have kept reading.

There was a sheet, listing the injuries of the victim. Karen started reading, but downloaded the files after she saw “no light perception”. She didn’t want Matt to hear her heart rate going any faster than it already was.

Especially not if these reports were correct. 

Karen looked into Matt’s office- the bit she could see from her desk. Foggy’s back and shoulders, as he shuffled through something.

Well, Karen had work to do too, so she got to it, reminding herself to talk to Foggy before he left.

  
\--Foggy--

Matt stood. “It’s 6:10, I have to go, Fog.” He sounded resigned.

Foggy didn’t like it, not a bit. Matt wasn’t acting like himself. He was moving weird, he was stiff. He reacted to noises outside more often than usual. 

Beyond the red mark on his cheek, he had some kind of bruise on his neck that was mostly hidden. But Foggy didn’t say anything. He caught a pointed look from Karen earlier, and knew that there was something going on.

So when Matt grabbed his cane, Foggy just said, “Hey, man, want to hang out tonight? I feel like we haven’t really hung out in a while.”

“Foggy, we went out yesterday.”

“Yeah, with Karen. At a bar. That’s not the same, Matt.”

“...Okay. Maybe. This, uh… loan thing might take a bit. I’ll text you.”

“Okay, Matt. See you.”

The second Matt left, Karen stood slowly, deliberately. She refilled her mug and shot another pointed look to Foggy. 

He held his hand up for a moment, before walking to the window to see if Matt was far enough down the block. 

“Okay,” Foggy whispered after another minute.

“He seemed like he was in a hurry, anyway,” Karen commented, worried.

“Yeah, he’s suspicious. What did you find?”

Karen frowned and worried at her hair. “I don’t know, Foggy, if this is wrong… God, if this is right…” 

Foggy gave her a humorless laugh. “Well, don’t say something so scary and give me nothing to go on, Page…”

She gave him a polite smile and strode back to her desk, waving him around.

On her screen was a pdf of different compiled reports, detailing a victim of an aggravated sexual assault. 

Foggy read carefully, aloud, hoping he was hallucinating, “‘...redacted patient… no light perception, scars from an incident unrelated to… bruising on neck, chest, thighs’- Christ.” 

Under that, a forensic report. A rape kit. Foggy thought he might throw up.

“Karen, where the fuck did you get this.”

“A forum. That’s why his name is redacted, they were trying to protect the victim-”

“Fuck, Karen, fuck. Oh my God, Karen.”

She reached up and patted his back. She looked like she wanted to cry, too.

“Why didn’t he tell us?” Foggy asked no one. “And… Why did he go to a hospital?”

“Oh. Hmm. Maybe it’s not Matt, after all.” Karen didn’t sound like she believed that, though.

“...He probably just knew that would be the most likely way to get whoever did it caught. Either way, we’ll figure it out tonight-”

“Look, Foggy, I don’t think it’s a good idea to spring this on Matt… If this is real, it just happened last night. I’m- I’m astounded he even came to work this morning.”

“He almost didn’t. He should have stayed home. I’m such a dick.”

Karen stood and forced Foggy into a hug. “No, you’re not, Foggy,” she said into his hair.

Karen let go, and Foggy could tell she was trying to pull herself together to get down to business. He followed suit.

“What are we going to do? He needs help, but this… Is big. Big.” 

“We need to talk to him! We need to- I don’t know, get him intensive therapy. I-I’ll talk to him tonight.”

“Foggy,” Karen hesitated, “he… Look, he went through something traumatic. And dehumanizing. He might take this as another invasion of privacy. He might…”

“He might not be able to handle that right now,” Foggy finished, crestfallen.

Foggy wasn’t completely convinced, though. The reports didn’t have a complete statement- which would explain what Matt went to do. He would definitely need some comfort afterwards, if he had to go give a detailed statement like that.

There really wasn’t any choice, then. Foggy had to be there for Matt.

“I’ll handle it Karen. Um, I’m going to let him know I’m going to his place. I- I’ll let you know if we need anything… because we might.”

Karen’s eyes softened. “Okay, Foggy. I’m going to stay here and finish up research for Suzanne v Sean. Let me know what, uh. What happens. And if Matt’s okay, too.”

Foggy agreed, and headed out, praying, for once, that Karen’s sources were wrong.

  
\--Matt--  
Last night had been bad, but he’d been able to just shut off. For this, he had to stay awake, to think. He couldn’t let the devil out, pummel his elbows into that fuckers nose while his friends scurried away like the loathsome rats they were.

He had to really keep his hands from cradling his own head. Keep his ears from picking up a noise that sounded too much like his own knees scraping against the pavement. His own choking. 

“Calm down, Mr. Murdock. I know,” Officer Turner ‘Call-Me-Officer-Steph’ said.

They sent in a woman because they thought he’d be calmer with her. He’d heard them talk about it. Well, they were right, anyway.

“So, you say you saw two young women being harassed?”

Did he say that? Damn, he shouldn’t have. If they say Daredevil saved them, Matt’s story won’t make sense.

Well, they probably wouldn’t come forward anyway. As far as they knew, the Devil saved them and stopped the baddies. It was okay.

“Yes. I-I heard them, when I was on the way home from a get-together,” Matt said, keeping his voice as even as possible. He felt embarrassed, even though he knew he shouldn’t be.

He felt bad for being embarrassed. But he had to go and prove them right, didn’t he? The blind man, the weak, poor blind man. He got assaulted. The poor soul shouldn’t go out alone. 

He’d been proving them wrong his whole damned life. Why, now, did he have to go and fuck it up?

“So,” ‘Officer Steph’ prompted.

“So, I said… something. Probably, ‘Hey, stop,’. Then the guys- there were three- they didn’t like that I stepped closer. I wanted those girls to take the chance and run, but they were too scared. They were frozen.” Matt’s voice broke on the last word.Clearing his throat, Matt continued, “So, I walked closer and threw a punch. I was very,” very, very, very, “drunk, so. I guess it was a fluke,” Matt chuckled darkly, “but it landed.”

It wasn’t a fluke. But it certainly wasn’t as controlled as it should have been. Would have been, if Matt hadn’t fucked it up so bad.

“The girls finally ran, thank God. And those- they were pissed. One kicked my leg out and stomped on my chest, and I remember grabbing his foot, trying to get it off.” He’d been the loudest, calling the girls abhorrent things.

He called Matt abhorrent things, too, but Matt didn’t have to talk about that yet, so he didn’t think about it yet either.

“Um, they argued for a second and then-”

Then hands had descended upon him, pulling clothes off. Grabbing his hair, pinning his arms.

“They raped me. I don’t know-” Matt put a hand over his left ear, trying to calm down.

“It’s okay,” Officer Steph said, leaning forward. Her pencil stopped scratching at her paper. She was waiting, expecting him to be more detailed, but Matt felt nauseous. 

“Uh- Daredevil came after a while. He was distracted with one guy while the other two ran. He took the guy and left.”

Matt left the guy, grabbed his mask, and dropped him off at the police station. It was the only way to make it look like Daredevil actually saved the day.

“Left? He left you alone?” The officer’s voice was colored with surprise.

That wasn’t usual for Daredevil. None of it was, really. Daredevil didn’t usually focus on almost fucking killing one guy and leaving the others to get away. He took them all out, more often cleanly than not, and he never left a victim to their own devices. Especially not a blind victim of rape.

And that was another factor, Matt’s blindness. The police weren’t going to trust all of Matt’s story.

“No- just for a minute. I don’t know- he- he left with the guy and came back without him. He said he dropped him off at the police station, but I don’t know-”

“We got the video of Daredevil dropping the man off. Don’t worry, Mr. Murdock.”

Fuck yes. Matt knew there were cameras, but he was relieved to hear confirmation.

“Good. Good… Then, uh, he helped me get to the hospital.”

“What about the other men? They just ran?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you describe them for me, to the best of your ability? Even things you think aren’t important could help.”

Matt didn’t want to describe them. He was struggling to think about any of it, it was just a garbled mess of pain and humiliation. It made Matt shake with fear and rage.

“...One was loud, he had long hair. A mustache.” Matt sounded hollow even to himself. “He was the smallest, I think. The other one didn’t want to- uh. He kept saying he wasn’t gay, but he-”

He enjoyed it. He was a rapist, it wasn’t about sexuality. He liked the power.

“Then the one that Daredevil got. He-”

Was taller than Matt, much taller. He was even quite muscular. But he had a broken wrist and a messed up knee already, and Matt found an opening. The man had a roman nose before it was bashed into nothing but blood, shards of bone, and raw cartilage. 

“Had a phone, I think. It fell and broke. And out of them all, he would have been the strongest, but he kept complaining about other injuries.” 

They smelled only slightly like beer, and Roman Nose and the one who said he wasn’t gay smoked cigarettes. They’d all had burgers, and Mustache had recently showered with expensive soap. 

Matt knew that was useless.

“We did find a phone, but it was so broken we couldn’t get anything from it.”

That had been on purpose.

“Well… Matthew, I know this is hard to talk about, but if you could be any more detailed that would be a great help.”

“...Detailed how?” Matt knew how. He just didn’t want to say it.

“Did they penetrate you?”

“Yes. All of them.”

“Did they ejaculate?”

“Yes. Two.”

Matt already did this. 

He wanted to be done, as useless as what he’d given so far apparently was. He’d already gone to the hospital, done the rape kit. He wanted to go home.

But the two left might rape others. And Matt… Matt thought he might have to kill himself if that was because of him.

“What else do you need to know?”

\--Foggy--

Okay, so Matt hadn’t opened the text. Foggy’s phone lets him know when Matt opens the text. And it said he hadn’t.

Foggy was worried. Really, really worried. Foggy hadn’t gone into Matt’s apartment- opting instead to wait at the door. 

But what if Matt was crying, finishing a statement? What if he had to walk home alone? What if he heard Foggy’s rapid heartbeat, his tapping feet, and ran?

Foggy ran a hand through his hair and sank to the floor, back flush against Matt’s door. It was late- 7:30. He supposed it would take a while, though. And it wasn’t like he could go looking for Matt. What if Karen’s source was wrong after all? 

Foggy’s thoughts were interrupted by noise inside Matt’s apartment. He pressed his ear to the door, but didn’t hear another sound. He waited a moment longer, but eventually caught footsteps.

“Matt,” he called, “I know you’re in there! Can, um… Can I come in?” A half-stifled sigh answered back. Foggy had to wait another moment, until Matt opened the door a bit.

“Hey Fog,” he said. He only sounded a little wrecked.

Foggy stood. “Matt, uh, are you okay? Can- Can I come in?”

“Foggy, I’m tired. Sorry, I forgot to let you know not to come tonight, after all…”

Through the bit of the door that was open, he could see Matt had his glasses and suit still on, barring his tie. His face was splotchy red, though.

“Matt. I… Do you remember our honesty conversations?” It was a cruel card to play, but Foggy needed to make some headway. 

Matt stilled, but kept his voice as even as before. “Yeah, Foggy. How could I forget?”

“...I think somethings up, man.”

“Well, it’s nothing that you need to worry about. We’re allowed to have separate lives, Foggy, you know that. I mean, you’re with Marci, you don’t tell me everything about her and you don’t need to.” Matt’s switch to rapid-fire threw Foggy.

“Dude, I think you got hurt. It’s important to me because you’re important to me.” Foggy felt his eyes tear up.

Matt’s only answer was a dry sniff as he dropped his head.

“Please, Matty.”

Wordlessly, Matt opened the door further, reaching to turn on the hall light.

Foggy walked in and quietly asked, “beer?”

“ _No_ ,” Matt barked. “I mean, you can have one… but no, thanks.”

He fell to the couch, turning his head up at nothing. Foggy forwent the beer.

“What happened, Matt?”


	2. Persistant Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt faces the resounding lesser of two evils, opening up to Foggy somewhat about what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I'm sure I don't need it, but trigger warning for rape, ptsd, and such. There's not much mention of abuse or anything like that so far, but it will most definitely come up later in the story.
> 
> Let me start of by thanking you all. The amount of comments I've gotten are... insane. They mean the absolute world to me. I would like to apologize for taking so long, and for not responding to such kind comments. I was worried to respond since it's been so long at this point, so just know that I read through all the comments. 
> 
> some_fiction, Piña, itismesee, ZoZe6, GoldenSpringtime, Tay, and YourFriendTheCosmonaut, thank you so much for commenting. I'm so sorry it took so long. Read end notes for more on this story!
> 
> Hope you like this chapter!

\--Matt--

Foggy’s voice was too soft. 

“You already know, don’t you?”

A stutter in his heart. Stilted breath as he made his way to a chair across from Matt. 

“I can tell that there’s something wrong,” Foggy finally said, “and I want to… help. In any way that I can, Matt.”

Matt closed his eyes behind his glasses. 

He could tell Foggy. That’ll result in Foggy asking Matt to take time off from his duties, definitely. He might even be upset that Matt didn’t say so sooner.

Well, he’d be even more upset about that if Matt didn’t say  _ anything _ .

Matt grimaced. 

“Nothing’s wrong, Foggy,” Matt finds himself saying. It’s such a dumb lie. It’s so obvious.

And Foggy’s disappointment is palpable. Matt would swear on the bible that he could’ve sensed it from a block away.

“Matt, I- I don’t want to push you, but if it’s as serious as I think it is-”

“What do you think it is, Fogs?” He already knew.

“Matt, I-” Foggy already knew, Matt could tell.

“I’m sorry.” It was probably a good thing he already knew, Matt thought. 

Foggy stepped forward, lowering himself gently onto the couch. Matt felt as though he were made of glass. “Why in God’s name are you apologizing, Matt?”

“You already know, Foggy.” Matt covered half his face with his left palm. He wanted to cry.

No, he wanted to punch something. Or- sleep. He wanted that, too.

“Matt. Were you raped?” Foggy’s voice was hushed. As though he hadn’t known the whole time. 

“Yeah.”

Foggy finally reached towards Matt, resting a heavy arm around his shoulders. He rubbed small circles into Matt’s elbow.

Matt simply turned to Foggy and rested his forehead on the closest shoulder.

Foggy wanted honesty. And he’d been there for Matt. Even if things got rough, his reactions showed nothing but care for Matt. 

Matt knew this. 

“I don’t want to burden you.”

Foggy eyelashes fluttered. Disbelief. “You aren’t a burden. You’re going through a rough time. I’m here to help, just like all the times you’ve helped me.”

Yeah, helped him with the problems Matt created in the first place.

“It’s hard to- to believe it. When you say I can lean on you.”

“I know.” Foggy was solemn.

“It’s humiliating.”

Foggy rubbed circles into Matt’s back. “I know.”

  
  
  


\--Karen--

**Foggy:**

They were right

**Foggy:**

Matt’s holding it together

**Foggy:**

Unexpectedly well

**Foggy:**

Worried here 

  
  


Karen winced. She wasn’t even sure what she could do. It was almost one in the morning, and it wasn’t like she could sleep easily. Not after learning the truth, and not after being unable to help.

She sighed at her ceiling. It was time to get shit done. She grabbed her laptop from her coffee table and booted it up.

The welcome page of the Daredevil forum greeted her.

**_DOOMEROOTKA:_ ** _ 00:48:57 _

_ So he’s 5’11” _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:49:12 _

_ No _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:49:13 _

_ You’re wrong _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:49:15 _

_ You’re wrong and you should be ashamed _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:49:20 _

_ He’s by a dumpster that’s 3.5 feet tall, so if you count the pixels correctly he’s, like, six foot something _

**_DOOMEROOTKA:_ ** _ 00:49:39 _

_ Are you dumb? It’s a 20 yard dumpster meaning it’s 4 feet tall _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:50:02 _

_ No the fuck that is not _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:50:04 _

_ That’s so clearly a 10 yard dumpster, you can see the shadow end _

**_DOOMEROOTKA:_ ** _ 00:50:11 _

_ THAT”S A COMPLETLEY DIFFERENT LIGHT SOURCE _

**_DOOMEROOTKA:_ ** _ 00:50:13 _

_ AAAAA YOU DUMBFU CUK _

**_DOOMEROOTKA:_ ** _ 00:50:17 _

_ ban her someone fucking ban her i cant do this anymore she needs to go _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:50:24 _

_ OH!!! _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:50:54 _

_ U’re RIGHT! Sowwy ootka bb he’s 5’11” _

**_chamomillieMorado:_ ** _ 00:51:13 _

_ He didn’t go out to night.  _

**_chamomillieMorado:_ ** _ 00:51:16 _

_ You know what? _

**_chamomillieMorado:_ ** _ 00:51:19 _

_ This last case was unusual for our boy. _

**_DOOMEROOTKA:_ ** _ 00:51:29 _

_ Right. He goes hard sometimes but he almost never lets people go _

**_chamomillieMorado:_ ** _ 00:51:31 _

_ Especially not rapists. _

**_DOOMEROOTKA:_ ** _ 00:51:31 _

_ Especially not rapists _

**_chamomillieMorado:_ ** _ 00:51:33 _

_ Jinx. I’m worried for DD though. _

Karen was, too. She contemplated what she could offer these people.

Part of her wanted to let them know she knew him. Had a direct line to him. She wasn’t naive, though. Obviously telling them that would be a bad idea.

Karen read through the report PenniMecca posted again.

Three assailants, two of which got away. The one that Daredevil dropped off was badly injured, with multiple broken bones in his face and a leg fractured in three parts, not to mention the numerous bruises. Liver damage, fractured rib. 

Karen wanted to know about the other two bastards, though.

The only thing they recovered was a phone, smashed to bits. The report didn’t even specify who the phone belonged to. Karen supposed the case wouldn’t get very far until the guy Matt caught was healed enough to talk to the police.

She bit her lip, frustrated.

**_chamomillieMorado:_ ** _ 00:54:25 _

_ I can’t believe there weren’t cameras in the area the crime took place. _

**_Coreaboo!:_ ** _ 00:54:39 _

_ agreeeeed. We’re defo missing something! _

**_PenniMecca:_ ** _ 00:55:02 _

_ Yeah, and Chris Tiff won’t be able to rat anyone his buddys out for a while. _

**_PenniMecca:_ ** _ 00:55:04 _

_ That area usually does have cameras though, doesn’t it? :? _

**_chamomillieMorado:_ ** _ 00:55:15 _

_ I thought so too, but the owners of the building and the one across from it got into a legal thing. _

**_chamomillieMorado:_ ** _ 00:55:24 _

_ One building had a camera, but it pointed into someone else’s living room a little? Idk, but either way, there aren’t cameras there. _

Karen looked into it. She opened google street view and found the location- an alley not far from the bar Foggy had convinced them to try. 

There were bound to be cameras on street lights. Not that Karen could access the footage herself, anyway. But surely the other two attackers would have been tracked by the police with those cameras.

The only thing, other than cameras and physical evidence, was Matt himself. Or anyone else on the scene, Karen supposed. She doubted the girls briefly mentioned in the report would come forward. She tried not to feel resentful about it.

  
  


**_KayPlant:_ ** _ 00:56:23 _ __

_ The victim finished his report by now. _

**_PenniMecca:_ ** _ 00:56:59 _

_ Very true. Got em, they’re linked! _

**_DOOMEROOTKA:_ ** _ 00:57:04 _

_ Marry me already, PM _

Karen would have shared the sentiment, if she weren’t busy pouring over the report.

PenniMecca really was decent, for redacting Matt’s name and such. Although she supposed the breach of privacy (and the law) was pretty messed up.

The report was much more detailed.

Matt found the two young women being attacked and, drunk, attempted to stop the assailants. The women ran, and Matt-

Eventually was ‘saved’ by Daredevil who dropped him off... Karen hardly even skimmed the rest. She knew all this.

What she wanted to know was why Matt only got the one guy. Why did the other two leave him to get the shit beat out of him? 

Karen shut her laptop. It was late. She had work in just a few hours. She hoped Matt and Foggy had gone to sleep, themselves. 

Lord knew they needed it.

  
  
  


\--Foggy--

Foggy wasn’t stupid.

He’d been the butt of a lot of jokes. He knew he fit the stereotype of funny fat guy on the outside. But he had a habit of catching people by surprise, when they underestimated his intelligence.

So Foggy knew that Matt was fucked up over everything that’d happened. Not that he could blame the guy.

The simple fact that Matt was functioning  _ so well _ was what gave it away, really.

Because Foggy woke up to the smell of  _ bacon and eggs. _ He sat up in Matt’s bed (the right side of which was made) and  _ knew _ Matt was self-destructing in the worst way possible.

“Morning, Foggy. Coffee?” Matt held up a mug for Foggy to see, head tilted down as though he were paying attention to something on the kitchen counter.

“Thanks, man,” Foggy got up and took the coffee. It was piping.

Matt returned to his stove. Foggy knew the lingering smell of food prepared here would drive the guy crazy. 

“You should take today off, Matty.”

“Why?”

“Because…”  _ Because you were assaulted. And you’re avoiding it so completely that you’ve begun acting more healthy than you ever were before it even happened.  _

But Foggy left his rebuttal at that.

“Mmm, not sufficient. Evidence… evidence-wise.” Matt sounded far away, like he was listening to something. He cleared his throat and poked at his bacon.

“Matt… I think that you should talk to a professional.”

“Jeez, I get my cooking isn't the best, but you haven’t even tried it yet.”

“...I can… book someone. If you want me to.”

Matt dropped his amateur comedian act with a simple “No.”

Foggy watched him scrape the bacon onto a plate. He shoved toast and egg onto it and passed it to Foggy. There wasn’t a second plate.

“Listen, Foggy, I’m sorry you’re worried,”  _ that’s not the point, asshole,  _ “but it’ll be better if we just try to let things go back to normal. Th- Thank you, for… being here. And for being… for being… more than I deserve-”

Foggy really had to keep himself from strangling Matt.

“-but it’ll be better to go back to normal.” Matt gave Foggy a small, pleased smile. Foggy had to look down at his perfectly cooked breakfast to keep from saying something he’d regret.

“I’ll try it your way, buddy. But please let me know if it- if it gets too much. You know?”

“Yeah, Foggy.” 

His impassive expression broke with a twitch of a frown.

“How did you know? I mean- I assume it’s not- there’s no way- no way they found out I’m Daredevil. It’d be everywhere. But-”

“We knew you lied about going out. I was going to ask last night, but,” Foggy wasn’t about to pin all the blame on Karen. Damn her, being too good a friend to throw under the bus, “I told Karen to research it instead.”

“...Research?”

“Yeah, those forums. Like, where they obsess over Captain America’s butt. But the one Karen found was specifically about Daredevil. We heard about you catching, um… attackers, and saw a file on a reported victim.”

“Ah.”

Matt’s mouth sat slightly open, face blank. 

It didn’t last long, however. With a quirk of his eyebrows and a click of his teeth Matt took to cleaning the kitchen.

“Matt- that was wrong of us, we-”

“No,” he held up a hand as he lowered dishes into the sink, “I lied to you. You were worried. You were trying to help me.” 

This was weird. This was new.

Uncharted territory.

He’s taking things  _ too well. _ Foggy felt like he’d fallen into an alternate universe.

Except, if Matt were this emotionally vulnerable (for lack of a better phrase. Foggy, in truth, had no fucking clue what was going on) the rest of the time, he probably wouldn’t go Daredevil-ing at night in the first place.

Foggy took a deep breath and took a bite of his food at Matt’s expectant non-gaze before shooting Karen a text.

“ _ Gna be late. Things are weird. Told him the truth. Act casual. Be honest. Ily ttyl” _

  
  
  


\--Karen--

Karen sighed as she set her phone back on her desk.

Fuck. 

Four hours of sleep, emails piling up, and, oh, one of her best friends went through a traumatic event all because he’s too kind for his own fucking good.

Which was why she got up at the asscrack of not-even-dawn-yet to get croissants.

Not just any croissants, no, these croissants were Matt’s favorite. From a little bakeshop owned by an Amish family. Sugary breakfast items so good that they sell out before 7. Karen even managed to get her hands on a couple chocolate ones.

Karen was… well, a woman. So she knew this wasn’t something an Amish chocolate croissant could fix. But at least he’d be attempting to heal from his emotional turmoil with something yummy to snack on.

And was Karen attempting to distract herself from the gravity of the situation with any silly little thing that came to her mind? Well, she won’t tell if you won’t.

_ Get to work, Page. _

Karen didn’t go through her emails uninterrupted for too long. 

“Morning, Karen,” Matt said as he walked in, followed closely by Foggy. 

Matt seemed chipper.

“No-” Matt gave an uncharacteristic exaggerated gasp. Foggy looked like he was going to have a heart attack until he realized what Matt was gravitating towards.

Smirking, Matt plucked a croissant from the bag Karen had set out.

“Yes, early morning  _ Amish _ croissants,” Karen said, trying to make her smile clear in her voice.

“You’re an angel. How early did you get up for these things,” Foggy asked. Karen was glad that his voice was normal. She was starting to worry the two had switched bodies.

“Like, 5:30. But it was worth it. Chocolate croissants, Foggy.”

Matt strode to his office, waving his treat and enunciating a “Totally worth it, thanks Karen,” through a bite of croissant before gently shutting the door behind him.

Karen and Foggy immediately traded looks and the two shot to their desks.

‘ _Email From:_ _karenpagenam@gmail.com_

_ Subject: _

_ What the fuck is going on’ _

_ ‘Email From: franklinnelsonesq@gmail.com _

_ Subject: _

_ When I went over last night, I told him I knew. He took it surprisingly well. He was exhausted. He asked me how I knew this morning and I told him the truth. He took it in stride. Expecting a shoe to drop sometime soon.’ _

  
  
  
  


\---Matt---

The croissant tasted like failure. Or maybe it was just Matt. Probably just Matt.

Either way, he wrapped it in a napkin and threw it away, trying to ignore the guilt eating at his chest.

The typing throughout the rest of their office was erratic. Frantic at points and then halting at others. Contemplative. Matt knew exactly what that was about, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be anything other than…

If he were being honest ( _ a first for you, eh, Murdock?)  _ he wasn’t sure what he felt. Lots of numb, but beyond that, a sense of dread. Or general gloom. He wasn’t sure.

Sometimes, he just felt surreal. Like maybe he didn’t exist at all.

No matter. Matt had things to do, statements to pour over, calls to schedule.

So that’s what he took to doing, up until a familiar voice came his way from beyond his office door, responding to some professionally polite question from Karen.

“-Uh, yeah, actually, are Foggy and Mike in?”

Perplexed, Karen answered in her business tone, “Oh, yes, Mr. Nelson’s in. Um, I’m not sure about a Mike, though…”

_ Okay, time to turn it on, Matty boy. _

Matt shot to his door and tilted his head as he made his way to the visitor.

“Is that Grant Higgins I hear?”

“Mike!” The man made a big gesture with his arms, as though he were presenting Matt to himself. He’d spilled a little beer on his shirt the night prior.

Matt forgot how obnoxious the guy was.

The quirk of Karen’s brow was audible to Matt, though her amused confusion was clear all throughout her body language, anyways. “Mike?”

“From Michael,” Foggy interrupted, “G-Hig! What the hell are you doing here man?”

“Ah, got a divorce. Something about cheating, yadda yadda, point is, I could really use a favor!”

With a tilt of his head and an annoyed frown disguised as a good-natured one, Foggy led Grant Higgins to his office. Matt knew to follow.

The team took their regular seats and regular we’re-attorneys-please-trust-us postures.

“Woah, you guys look so serious like this,” Grant laughed, his lanky limbs taking up more space than they really needed. “I’m a little freaked. Hey, Mike, remember when we got super fucked up that one time and your girlfriend had to fish me out of a tree?”

“Not a bit,” Matt said with a laugh. He wanted to throw up even thinking about drinking.

“D’ah, you got so uptight! Man, you were that way freshman year, too.”

“We both met you our second year,” Foggy said, chuckling around his lilted tone. Foggy had a remarkable talent of masking his annoyance with laughter. 

“Oh, shit, yeah, I guess you just always kinda had a stick up your ass.”

Matt laughed again, louder than intended. “Yep. Anyway, Grant, about your divorce?”

Matt didn’t even attempt to dodge Foggy’s foot as it kicked his calf.

“Ha, yeah, well. He thought I cheated on him and stole my fuckin’ dog. Not to mention he broke my guitar in a fight.”

Foggy whistled. “Well, looks like you might have something here, bud.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not much whump or h/c happens here. I'm trying to move the plot along while giving Matt a somewhat realistic response to trauma. I feel like he's not the type to break down easily, and when he does finally break, it's pretty quiet, just as a result of his childhood. 
> 
> There will be healing, and there will be a lot of hurt, eventually.
> 
> I'm sorry, once again, for taking so long to update. I'm hoping that I can stick to a more realistic schedule. I will be adding the third chapter sometime before the 7th of November, so stay tuned. At that point, I'll also be able to provide a solid update schedule. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and supporting me. I appreciate ALL comments, including harsh ones, because I have a lot of improving to do. If you have any opinions or thoughts you'd like to share, please do so.
> 
> I love this community. Thanks, guys.


	3. Bad Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old college buddy of Foggy and Matt invites the whole office to go drinking. Foggy nearly hyperventilates, as Matt still doesn't know how to handle Big and Difficult Emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would first like to apologize for how terribly short this chapter is. I also would like to apologize for posting late.
> 
> This chapter was a bit of a slog to write, but I hope it's okay to read. Thank you so much for joining me again, and for reading! Hope you enjoy!

\--Karen--

The meeting didn’t take as long as they usually did.

Karen supposed it was a product of skipping formality.

The only part that she caught, beyond the fact that this college friend of Matt and Foggy’s was divorced, was that he was also lonely.

“Boys,” Grant said, grinning as he stalked closer to the exit, “we _have_ to go out sometime. I gotta get _laid!_ ”

Foggy nodded his head, probably eager to get the guy out of his office, “Yeah, Grant, maybe we can hang out sometime-”

“How about tonight? Hey- I’ll buy the first round of shots. Miss, uh- Page! She can come, too, right?”

Grant looked to Karen as though they had some prior agreement. Karen was too busy wondering how he got her last name to notice that she was nodding in agreement.

“How about tonight?” Clearly, Grant was desperate.

Foggy was quick to answer, but Karen caught his glance at Matt.

“That’s probably not a good id-”

“Absolutely,” Matt cut in, looking as though he were mocking Grant with his grin.

“Oh, Matt- you always got wild when you drank! Holy hell, I’m excited. Hey- you guys have my number. We’ll go pub crawling all night, right?”

“Yeah, man. Text you tonight.” Matt clapped Grant’s back as he walked him to the door.

With a whoop and a slam, Grant Higgins left the building.

“Holy shit, that guy sucked.”

“Karen!” Foggy faked offense. He didn’t keep up the joke, though, instead opting to study Matt.

“Stop, Fog, it’ll be fun.” Matt’s quieter tone wasn’t as light as he probably meant it to be.

So Karen wasn’t surprised when she actually found herself dragged to some shitty pub at 10 pm, all thanks to Foggy’s pleading.

“It’ll be so sucky without you, Karen. Please,” he’d said. 

And, of course, Karen gave in.

“Wow, Krista! You came!” Grant was, evidently, no less douchey as the day had worn on.

“Karen.” 

“Right, sorry, bad with names. Great with faces though!” He threw an arm over Matt for emphasis.

The odd quartet shuffled into the quiet little pub and took up a corner seat. Grant, true to his word, ordered the first round of shots.

Karen caught Foggy’s bulging eyes, the way he watched Matt’s reaction. 

Matt, who simply followed Grant’s lead, was apparently choosing to ignore Foggy. He threw back a shot of vodka.

Karen didn’t hide her cringe as she, too, followed suit. Cheap, nasty shit. She took another shot.

Foggy downed half a shot and gave Karen a pointed look, as though Karen had half a clue what was going on and could do a damn thing about it.

Apparently, the face she’d made in return got her point across. With a sigh, Foggy said to the table, “Karen, Matt, and I should probably go slow. We _do_ have work tomorrow.”

“Mmyeah. But we don’t have important work until this hearing, so-” Matt waved a glass he was holding as he shrugged. He’d loosened up quickly.

Karen wished it would set her mind at ease, but instead it gave her that feeling in the middle of her brain. The one that simultaneously stabbed at her heart and whispered “he’s lying to you. Again, he’s lying.”

“Yeah, no,” Karen laughed. She could play the game, too. “We have so much to do tomorrow! Not to mention I woke up super early for those damned amish croissants.”

“You-” Grant interjected, pointing an already very slightly buzzed finger at Foggy and Karen, “are downers. I’m bored. Mike and I are hitting the jukebox.”

Matt gladly followed, barely shooting a soft smile at Foggy as he went.

“Okay, so what’s your deal, Foggy?”

“He can hear us.”

“And?”

“Just-” Foggy made an annoyed grunt, his eyes shooting up to the ceiling. It was oddly teenager-ish, and it didn’t help that it was immediately followed by him grabbing his phone and furiously typing.

_Foggy:_

_Matt was drunk the other night. That’s why he wasn’t able to just take them out. He hadn’t wanted me to drink beer, when I went over last night…_

_Foggy:_

_It’s too soon for him to be trying to make things normal._

Karen stared at her phone, furrowing her brows. 

Her thumbs hesitated over the keyboard before she started typing out her cautious little answer.

_Karen:_

_Everyone heals differently._

_Karen:_

_He has support nowadays. Hopefully this is just how he’s coping. Unless he seems to be in more pain than he should, I think we should let it be._

Karen missed Foggy’s reaction to the message, as her eyes shot up to the noise by the jukebox.

Apart from some pop-rap song playing, Grant’s obnoxiously loud laughter was easy to hear in the pub. He leaned his lanky frame over Matt, who looked like he was trying to pull away, apart from his arm, which was wrapped around Grant’s waist.

Karen hummed.

Foggy’s concern was seeming a little less mother-hennish and a little more deserved. 

But what was Karen going to do? Unnecessarily bring up Matt’s body-language, of all things? Starting something that was probably way too raw for Matt to get into? 

The rest of the night was full of the same. The group hopping from bar to bar, Karen and Foggy drinking very little and keeping to themselves, real smiles less common than fake ones. 

And Grant and Matt got closer. Embarrassingly so, with how drunk they were; “Dude, wish you could see how hot you are,” and “you smell nice,” were apparently favorite’s of their flirtatious repertoire.

It turned into just what Karen expected. 

Three in the morning, the four stood, waiting for a taxi. Grant, still hanging off an equally unbalanced Matt, finally made the proposition.

“Stay the night, Mike-y! Like in college. Freshman year.”

“Sophomore. And I don’t think that’s a great idea, man,” Foggy cut in with a quickness.

“Yeah, m’pretty drunk,” Matt mumbled. His face was contemplative, Karen could tell under the street lights. And, well, the light pollution in general.

Grant nodded at Matt’s answer, proud, Karen supposed. “That’s why it’ll be fun- I got water and aceto- acetiminn- pain. Things for pain, dude. Like Tylenol ‘n shit.”

“Ok,” was Matt’s only response, just in time for a taxi to pull to the curb. Despite Foggy’s protests (which were getting pretty desperate), Matt and Grant took the cab alone, heading, apparently, to Grant’s apartment.

“Well fuck,” Karen said, waiving for another taxi.

“Oh my God, Karen. This is fucking scary. My chest is pounding. He’d better be okay, or I swear to all that is holy, I will maim Grant and kill Matty. Shit, Karen.” 

Karen pulled Foggy’s hand away from where it pressed into his eyes and squeezed.

“He’s a grown man. He’s making grown man decisions.”

A taxi found its way to the two.

“And it’s late,” Karen continued, “time to go home.”

After all, Karen was _very_ ready to end her 20-hour-day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! I'm excited for the contents of the next chapter, and I hope you are, too.
> 
> On the last chapter, I'd said that I would post an update schedule. Thanks to an incredibly helpful comment from some_fiction (seriously ty), I've determined that I can't provide a consistent update schedule. Maybe one day, but I really am only capable of work in short bursts of motivation, and that doesn't make for great time-management.
> 
> That said, you can expect, at the very least, one update a month, although one update every two weeks is also very likely. I'd appreciate if you check in!
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments! Archive of Our Own has never been anything but incredible and full of really kind people, so yeah.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and I'm looking forward to seeing you all next chapter!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading my fic! If you want me to keep it going, let me know! Any and all constructive criticism is appreciated! ttyl!


End file.
